Schwag!

When you see all those delegates on TV, you might wonder--did they get a gift bag?

Yes, they did. Here's what was inside the gift bag of the California delegation:

1. a very nice canvas bag with zipper w/ nice poppy flower logo that is low-key enough that you wouldn't mind taking it to the beach next summer.

2. Little red, white, and blue stuffed animal/dog with Uncle Sam hat from Target.

3. Blue tote bag that zips up small ("green manatt") so you don't have to use a plastic bag when you go to the drug store or whatever during your week in Denver.

4. Blue plastic squeeze clip w/ magnet on back, you know, for all those papers you're going to collect that you'll want to save on your refrigerator door next month.

5. Small flashlight keychain w/ logo of PG&E and the 08 Democratic National Convention

6. Gray Arco-bag that you can wear like a backpack but way flimsier that you'll never be able to regift because its small and gray-colored and it says BIO: Biotechnology Industry Organziation on one side.

7. Really cool graphic post cards of Obama. Might be the best thing in the bag. Best thing so far for sure.

8. A DVD entitled "Pechanga: Our Story Continues" (Pechanga Band of Luiseno Indians)

9. a notepad for scribbling on with a big logo (sort of grayed-out so you can still read that phone number) of the Professional Engineers in California Government. "Engineering California's Future." They paid someone to come up with that slogan.

10. Another note pad, this one with an image of two firemen and the logo "California Professional Firefighters."

11. A wine glass w/ the logo "California Lieutenant Governor John Garamendi." Like you have to start drinking to think about who works with Arnold in state government.

12. a ceramic bobble head statuette of Los Angeles mayor Antonio Villarnaigosa. Wow! If only it were Chewbacca!!

13. A slinky. Because it's tough to be a delegate. You gotta work out the stress.

14. A fortune ball. Okay, that's cool. I just asked it, "Does Obama really think he has to compromise on offshore drilling?" it answered "don't bet on it." Oh, I feel better now.

15. a clickey-clack yellow finger thing. If you don't know what I'm talking about, consider yourself lucky. You might have heard one of these at a marathon race everytime a runner made it over the finish line. It hurts the ears of dogs.

16. a large plastic cup of dried fruits and nuts from Hadley's Fruit Orchards

17. Playing cards with a Waste Management logo

18. small vial of perfume

19. Oh god, there's still more crap: another little zipper bag with alcohol wipes inside

20. A coffee mug with a picture of a flower from Dianne Feinstein. thank you, Dianne. It's stately. I hope your ankle heals soon.

21. Wow! Real binoculars from a company called LEEDS. Okay, current winner for best thing in the bag.

22. moisturizing eye drops. Very considerate of them. Kindest thing in the bag.

23. a Blue pedometer so you can measure how steps it is from your hotel to the Pepsi Center

24. a yo-yo

25. a black leather holder for your business cards as long as you don't mind that it says "California Credit Union Leader" on the front.

26. Hey! a 1 Gigabyte memory stick for your laptop that says Lockyer California Treasure. That's okay. 1 gig is 1 gig. That's very nice.

27. Assorted pens

28. key chain and perhaps flashlight (I couldn't tell) from the California Nations Indian Gaming Association

Remember folks, this is a GREEN convention where we're supposed to recycle (repair, reuse). Oh, silly me. This is being compared to the other freebies being passed out around town. Use your imagination. Tomorrow: Arianna Huffington's Oasis Lounge. In detail.